The Unsaid words...

"Words once uttered, cannot be recalled". I have been hearing this ever since I was a kid.

Those slanderous words, once uttered… causes so much pain and suffering to others. You could probably regret from the very next moment, you could probably shower a thousand kind words after that for the rest of your life. Will all that take you back to the good old days? No!

FULL STOP

Oh…matured buddy of mine, all your life you have been thinking only about the effects due to the words you uttered. Ever wondered the effects due to the words you did not utter? Those unsaid words…those words that you wanted to tell someone…but never did…cos you thought it could turn out to be dangerous…where do they go? What do they do? Ever wondered?

Those words never fade…they remain right there...inside you…waiting to be unleashed at the right moment. Until the right moment, they slowly but steadily churn out a storm inside you, a storm that slowly takes control over your mind. Your actions(reactions)…slowly take your close ones away from you. Everything the person does is wrong according the storm inside you.

Ask your conscience. “am I judging him/her right?” “Am I doing the right thing?” the answer would be clear “NO”. But are you able to hear that “NO”. No, because it’s the storm who decides what you hear and what you don’t.

The only thing the storm can do is…grow inside you. Keep growing until...until its no longer bearable…its finally time to hit the coast! But wait, even before the storm hits the coast its done what it is supposed to do. It has made everyone around you realise that there is something wrong(they tune to their weather channel 24/7). They have all been warned…a lot of them are affected…a few manage to survive by running away from you.

So you may ask, the storm has lost its purpose now? When it hits the coast, you most likely happen to make the gravest of mistakes possible. Now, you look like a silly guy in front of everyone. The storm which started because of some silly mistake of your close one has finally nailed you. You shall suffer, along with others for that little storm that you built inside you. No one else deserves it more than you.

Do I sound crazy? You still think you shouldn’t utter those precious words? You think you are not capable of uttering the right words to me? Nothing but those slanderous words would come out of you? My friend, answer me, why did you have to wait till the words became destructive? Why didn’t they drop out of you when they were still dormant? Those dormant words...that could have actually built a trust between us. The kind of trust which no storm in the world could even think of breaking. In the end my friend, it was not those words that destroyed us and our friendship…it was your failure to let them out at the right moment that did it…the “wait” nailed our friendship's coffin!

Getting crushed by my first ever CRUSH - part 5

I told her what I had been hiding for these two years. Well…not everything…but atleast the parts which clearly meant how much I liked her before. I tested my grammatic skills a little by telling everything in the past tense...and yes...I passed the test:).

Well…past tense was all good…whats up with the present tense?

So I ended the conversation “It would be great to have a friend like you”.

She replied back “Out of the blue you have shot all this at me. I don’t even know how to react. But yes, I am sure we will be great friends” with a smile.

And so ended my crush story(atleast that’s what I thought). The great friends would never meet again for the next three years.

But…that days events were replayed every now…mainly as an achievement…I was not a average guy anymore(hehe). And the thought that I had actually conveyed my feelings to her made me feel so proud of it…until…

Three longs years later...

One fine day V met again. After the initial ‘hi-how r u? wat u doing?’ questions, we started to fill the 3 year gap with what happened in each other lives. 3 yrs was a long time, enough to write a 3 hour long essay atleast. I don’t know why, all questions were answered back and forth in a ‘choose the right answer’ way. Soon…we ran out of questions and then … the same silence struck (yah the same one…only this time I didn’t have the empty pepsi bottle to blame). So struck by this little curiosity…I asked her “do you remember the day on your birthday I had …..”

“No”, “hmmm”, “Oh is it?”

after 2-3 minutes of playing around she said….

“Oh yah, I remember. But, you know what I thought? I thought it was just a dare…blah blah blah”

So…that’s how my first crush crushed me. All those 2 and half yrs of feelings poured into 5 minutes of pepsi was finally taken as just another dare? Does she even realize the effort that went into opening up to her? She probably wouldn’t, because it is probably my fault that I didn’t tell it properly. How does she know what I did all that 2 and half yrs? Did I tell her all that? No

One lesson to be learnt would be: What you think was a great show…need not necessarily be the case for the audience :-)

That shouldn’t stop the show though…cos according to me its going great. And so continuing
from where I left….maaan she looked like a goddess….

THE END

DISCLAIMER: The above mentioned events are an exageration of small events in authors life. The words "she", "her" point to HER only, whom you,me,him,us,we or all might not know. So let us not break our head into knowing who HER is.

Getting crushed by my first ever CRUSH - part 4

I was born with shyness, and it’s most likely that I would still find it at my death bed. I sometimes wonder I could have had a lot more friends if it was not for my shyness. But as it’s said, its quality that matters over the quantity, so lets get back to one of those quality moments where I was getting to know one “quality” friend.

To start with, I hardly had anything to talk about. “I could probably talk to her about that beautiful song ‘enge enadhu kavidhai…’ she sang during college function. But…what do I tell about her performance…I had missed it :-(.” “I could probably talk about her beautiful voice.” “Yaahhh…and make her feel what a despo you are and probably make this the last time she spoke to you. STOP…no talking about anything….only asking simple-getting-to-know questions”

What do you mean by simple-getting-to know question?(the next research topic). so I rolled out my simple-getting-to-know questions “so what are your plans after college?, who and all are there in your house?, Oh you have a sister? so what is your sister up to?(now…how does that matter?)” Irrelevant question? Hehe…I knew answers to all (except if her sister was available or not?:-)).

Finally as I ran out of those stupid questions, there was this silence. A lot of things ran across my mind during that moment. Suddenly out of nowhere that silence gave me the guts, the guts I lacked all these two years (those last few drops of Pepsi could have been the culprit:-)). So at last……….I told her.

To be continued...

Getting crushed by my first ever CRUSH - part 3

I still couldn’t believe my luck. I thought, “Well... it’s most likely she was being polite and didn’t want to say a NO. If she knew you for a little longer, she could have told a NO...but you just met right? I think she was just being polite. And yes ... you were a little too wrong in even asking such a question on your first meeting.” With these thoughts running in my mind, on the BIG day (her birthday), I never went anywhere near the canteen. Well, it was not just me who knew it was a big day (remember? I had echoed that YESS to all my friends). “All these years you were waiting for that one chance...and now after getting it you act like this?” Well…my friends couldn’t take this. They first tried their best by making fun of me, then scolding me and then leaving me alone thinking “Its No use talking to this guy”.

So expectedly/unexpectedly nothing happened during the day (atleast that’s what I thought). So as I walked back to my college bus. I find her waiting right in front of the entrance asking me…

”so where were you during lunch? There was a treat due…remember?”.

“Hey I am sorry couldn’t make it. I had this lab work to do…blah blah blah”.

“Well its not late yet…its still my B’day and the canteen is still open.”

So off we went…walking towards the canteen. The college bus stand was pretty big, so as we passed in front of those buses, I could see a lot of curious eyes. But what stands in my mind clearly are not those curious eyes…but those wide open mouths of my friends, which refused to shut even as we disappeared into the canteen. My friends probably thought “wow so he finally managed it…huh?”

To be continued...

Getting crushed by my first ever CRUSH - part 2

Only god knows if she really noticed all that, but what I do know is that: fueled by such support from my dear friends, I would think about her day and night, write stupid poems (I knew I was bad it), try searching her in yahoo, write crappy algorithms to find her phone number when all that I had to do was pick my phone and ask my classmate for it, on the first given opportunity jump onto her bus, dedicate those wonderfully written ARR songs in her name (As if I wrote them!), sitting and talking to my dear friends about her all day, everyday. Don’t know if I did anything usefull at all in those two and a half years. So finally I decided that this is it, no more thoughts about her, because its definitely not going to workout between us(actually it was more of a grapes are sour thing here…No guts…No girl).

One fine day, I got to know that she has finally found her match. There she was going around with her new found love. He looked ‘ok’. Its possible that me and him were in the same boat in matters pertaining to her. Only thins is he probably decided its time to open up to her, while I was still rowing that sinking boat. “Good job buddy, you did great” with a heavy heart I congratulated him in my mind.

Once out of all those thoughts, I realized I have no problems talking to her. The shyness inside me suddenly seemed to have vanished into thin air. Though I realized all this, I never tried it. So on another fine day while casually getting introduced to her (after two and a half years!!!), I would ask her for her birthday treat. With absolutely no hesitation at all she would say “YES”. “WHAT THE…..?” she said a yes??? I couldn’t believe my ears. Speaking to her for the first time and shes already agreed to give me a treat? That yes, my friends, was echoed to all my friends so that they never forget to remind me that “SHE said a YESSSSS”.

to be continued...

Getting crushed by my first ever CRUSH - part 1

It was a beautiful morning. Sun shining bright through those dew drops who gave such a fresh look to those green trees. I could have sat and admired the place if not for the maths exam in couple hours :-(.Sitting by the college canteen stairs, I opened my book, hoping that I remember all that I had studied the previous night.

There she was, under the shadow of one of those fresh looking trees. As I looked at her for the first time these were the thoughts that passed my mind: “ woooooooow what a homely face shes got? Never seen her before….oh shit maths exam in sometime…wonder why I have never seen her before. What a shame, you have been studying in this college for a year now and have’nt seen this beautifull gal?...oh maan did I learnt that differential equation crap properly? Well its going to be asked only for 10 marks, I can easily leave it in choice…oooooooooh look at her smile wat a simple gal? she looks awesome. look at her talkig to her friends. wow what a beauty?…oh shit the maths exam....”

Yah and so….began my first crush story. I thought it began with this “never-seen-before” bang. Bigger bangs were yet to come. In the next month and a half, I got to know a few more stuff about her…she has been commuting in the same bus route as mine this whole year. What kind of a guy would miss that kind of a gal for one whole year inspite of being in the same bus?.

Bigger bang was just round the corner as the college reopened for our second year. Apparently, the lecturer who corrected my maths paper found that the answer sheet did not weigh enough for me to be given atleast 45/100,hence it was decided I should carry it as an arrear. The shame of getting an arrear would soon vanish upon hearing that my much intelligent schoolmate had also flunked in the same paper(what a sadist I was?). Now the maths paper was taken care of, how am I gonna take care of this crush?

One of those days as I was playing volleyball with my classmates, I saw her walking along with her friends towards the college exit. Everyone knew she had to pass us as she exits the college. And as she passed, my team mate managed to make a miss hit. Down went the ball towards the ground. In the next split second, I saw myself diving to the ground and hitting the ball just enough for it roll across the net. While the other team looked stunned, my friends who quickly realized what was going on started singing my praise. And yes…along with my praise came those magic words in the form of whispers…”She saw it man. Im sure she was totally impressed with that”…which sounded like Hariharan singing into my ears(err…crap. Lets say it sounded great to me).

To be continued...

Swami and his friends....

R.K.Narayan's Malgudi days was one of my favourite books. If you had read this book, it had this little indian village called malgudi located somewhere in karnataka. In the book, my favourite chapters were the one which involved swami and his friends. If I came across one, I would have read it 4-5 times enjoying every line of it, only to come back read it again the next day. Well here is this blogger who reminds me of swami. Looks like R.K.Narayan's swami has started writting by himself. And it seems like he might even beat RKN in this....
http://wittyknight.blogspot.com/

Orkut.com: soon to become richest company in the world

According to recent reports, orkut has claimed a share of profit from various industries and individuals. Sources suggest that, if Orkut(owned by google) was to win this case, overnight it would become the richest company in the world.

According to orkut, ever since the website started the feature where its users can share their photos in their profile:

(1) A lot of its users have started to a show liking towards tourism. Most of them visit various tourism/vacationing spots to click their snaps and post it online at orkut.com. Various tourism spots which were going out of business are now receiving thousands of orkut members every weekend. Hence orkut claims, the tourism industry should share 0.1% of their profit for every orkut member it receives as a guest.

(2) Every profile photo posted in orkut, acts like an advertisement for the tourism industry in that place, which encourages other members to go visit it. Hence every photo involving a tourism spot in a member’s profile costs $0.01.

(3) Another industry that benefited due to the emergence of orkut is garments and beauty products. Research shows that a lot orkut members purchase dresses /shoes /coolers /beauty products etc… from shops, just to click a snap and post it in orkut.com. Orkut claims a 0.1% profit from such shops for every such purchase by a orkut member.

(4) A lot of orkut members prefer clicking their snaps digitally, which would be easier to load onto the orkut.com website. Also, research shows that orkut members have forced the digital camera industry to higher standards. A digital camera with just good resolution and focus need not sell. Only additional features like brightness adjust etc… would confirm the sale. Hence, every time an orkut member buys a digital camera, the camera company owes 1% of its profit to orkut.com.

(5) Apart from this, each time a person views the profile picture of a user, the user owes orkut.com a $0.0001. There are also a lot of orkut members who take pleasure in visiting other unknown members orkut profile just for fun. A charge of $0.0001 is placed in such account for each visit. However, a 50% discount is available for users who do nothing but sit and browse other profile pictures.

(6) Research also shows that these days a lot of couples meet for the first time through orkut.com. Hence every time a couple gets to know each other in orkut, a price of $0.0001 is charged onto each ones account. The common friend (who unfortunately looses these two into their dream land), will get a small appreciation of $0.00001 onto his account.

Disclaimer: All the information provided in this blog post is erroneous. Any individual or set of individuals who want to use this information for their benefit is adviced to do so at their own risk. Kindly be adviced that the above mentioned charges from orkut.com does not apply to all users who show heart in placing his/her comment here after reading this blog postJ

Kripa reporting for ‘the writers’(a.k.a ‘The Reuters’)